Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Call me a safe bet, i'm betting i'm not.

"Because nothing makes me happier, and nothing makes me sadder than you."

Life is especially good at throwing curve balls.
It's good at kicking you while you're down.

I really wish that things were different.
Nights are the hardest.
It's like a never ending sadness that encompasses me.
Pressing against my chest,
Making it hard to breathe.
Makes it impossible to sleep.

I've never been the greatest at getting out what I mean.
Not exactly, anyways.
I'm the queen of "I didn't mean it like that." "That's not what I meant."

For the most part I have faith that God has a plan for me.
But there are times that I seriously don't know.
Is there no plan?
Did my own stupidity fuck my life up?
Is it not going to get any better?

I know everyone feels like this.
And I know it does get better.
I really do.

I have never been so god damn lonely in my life.

I have never had no one.
It's a horrible feeling.
I am a person who loves my alone time.
Treasure my alone time.
But when alone time is your only choice, it's hard.
It's hard to come home to my empty house every night.
It's hard to make myself dinner.
And decorate.
And live.

When i'm all alone.

"With nobody in your bed, the night's hard to get through."